Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Buick Duality

First, just let me start by saying that, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, if you drive a Buick, and this offends you . . . I don't give a fuck.

Steve and I have noticed for years, that it seems everyone who drives a Buick is either a.) old, b.) retired, c.) brain-dead, or d.) all of the above.   Certainly, for whatever reason, they all drive a lot slower than I want to.  We have even made a game of spotting Buicks and taking the under and over on 70 for the driver's age.

I don't know if Buick just did a superlative job of marketing when the 60-70+ demographic was forming their impression of automakers, or there is some kind of geriatric crack (Viagra, Valium, Nitroglycerine . . .???) sewn into the seat cushions, but BOY!  are there ever a bunch of old farts driving Buicks.

So, I was on my way to meet my friends Jennifer & Kim for lunch today, and as is usual for me, was running late, and was in a hurry.  I pulled up at the stop light in front of Walmart behind a really stylish looking car.  I was astounded to note this was a BUICK!  From the car company for geezers . . . what were they thinking!  This car had pizazz, it had stylish lines and fashionable attitude.  It had cool written all over it.  It looked tough.  It looked FAST!!!  I was intrigued . . . perhaps our well-tested theory was about to fall by the way side! 

So eventually the light turned green, and I was on my way to my luncheon date . . . I thought.  Turns out, Ms. Buick driver definitely had the 'over' on the age game.  My first clue should have been that I could barely see the top of her little blue-haired head over the seat back. 

It's noon and traffic is heavy, but three lights later, I finally managed to hustle my way around her, by moving into the left hand turn lane, as I headed to the vet's office to meet Kim & Jennifer.  And then she cut me off, darting across the solid white line into my lane.  I slam on the brakes and discuss her ancestry in sordid detail in mostly four letter words.  She slowly toodles on through the light, turns left, and takes my exact path down the road towards my vet. 


So, Buick has apparently designed a hot new car . . . that still appeals to Seniors.   I'm lobbying for a new accessory that will be mandatory if the driver is over 60 (which should cover about 90% of them, I'm thinking) . . . a LARGE cover for the gas pedal, so it can be easily found . . .

Apparently, doesn't really matter how it looks, it's still driven like a Buick.

1 comment:

  1. Ken says, "Beware of Toyota Avalons ... that's what many Buick owners have converted to." He, too, has mentioned the same about Buick drivers (for years). Loved this post, Leslie!